“If you can’t change your fate, change your attitude.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
When I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, the rheumatologist came in and said, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is it won't kill you and the bad news is it will never go away and there is nothing I can do for you." I was on a leave of absence from work, barely able to move, and feeling sorry for myself. One night I realized that he was right. There was nothing I could do to make it go away and all this energy feeling sorry for myself was making my body feel worse. I started to think about the positive side - it wouldn't kill me. Well, that's not such a bad diagnosis when you think about it like that. There are plenty of worse things I could have. Once I started thinking about that little glimmer of positive energy, I began to feel a little better.
It's okay to rage and cry and mourn the loss. But when it's over, focusing on the "can'ts" doesn't change them, it only makes me feel miserable. Positive thinking won't make me better, but it makes me feel better. Accepting the "can'ts" doesn't mean I like it or it's okay, it just lets me focus on all the "cans" in my life. It's all good because life works out the way it's supposed to be. None of us gets out alive, so we may as well enjoy the journey.